Political Discussions at Work: Should you open your mouth?

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A few weeks ago, when I walked into a high end clothing store in NYC, the greeters were so engrossed in conversation, they didn’t see me. ‘How can Donald Trump not pay taxes? I can’t believe he says he understands the little guy.’ The day after the first debate, the cashiers in the grocery store were arguing over whether Hillary Clinton should have worn red. This past week waiters at a local restaurant ignored me and other patrons, as they gawked at  heated-discussionTrump’s ‘Bus video’ on their phones.

Talking with co-workers in the workplace is not new. We all do it- it helps pass the time, gives us a break and builds connections. Political discussions are also not new to the workplace, but this year the political arena is particularly thorny and emotions are running high. In the workplace, expressing your emotions and opinions might or might not be advisable. A few things to consider before you open your mouth:

1- Do your job– In the above examples, workers were shirking job responsibilities in favor of chatting with co-workers. Remember, you are on the clock- so the chatting shouldn’t prevent you from doing your job. Plenty of time to get your point across when you’re on a break or at lunch.

2- Keep it private– Make sure you are heard ONLY by the people you’re speaking to. In the above examples, customers could easily overhear. In other settings, supervisors, executives, clients and visitors may hear what you’re saying. Many dangers: Your words are taken out of context and repeated (Jane said WHAT?) and you’ve become the center of office gossip. Workers- including your boss- make judgements based on what they think you said. The outsider may report you to your supervisor- could be a competitive co-worker out to get you, customer who needs service or the CEO wondering why he/she’s paying workers to hang around and talk. Lots of possible outcomes here- none of them positive.

3- TRUST– If you decide to share political opinions in the workplace, choose your audience wisely. Ask yourself: Can I trust this person? The answer- YES or NO- should come to you immediately. If you’re not completely sure, don’t risk it. Your gut instinct is NEVER wrong. ‘Maybe’, or ‘I think so’ – will land you in trouble. Stay quiet. You won’t regret it.

In this heated and emotional climate just weeks before the election, BE CAREFUL. It’s so tempting to join in and share your strong feelings- be part of the lively debate. But at what cost? You have to return to work tomorrow and the next day- your words and actions TODAY may come back to bite you. Ask yourself: Is it worth it?

Post Thanksgiving: Is GRATITUDE a trap?

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Thanksgiving is all about being grateful for what you have. Count your blessings; make a gratitude list; be thankful forGRATITUDE this meal with family and friends. Nothing wrong with that. Evaluating and appreciating your life- what has meaning for you- is certainly a worthwhile activity.
HOWEVER, gratitude can also be a trap – an effective way to shut down conversation and eliminate complaints. For example, you speak out about your job: manager plays favorites, we don’t have supplies, meetings are too long and disorganized. Response you receive: You should be GRATEFUL you have a job. Lots of people are out of work and would kill to have your job.
NOW WHAT? Conversation over- back to work. You are shamed, dismissed and sent back to your corner. No need for further discussion or exploration of the problem- There is no problem! You have a job- be GRATEFUL- and get back to work.

What can you do? You really need those supplies and you’ve been passed over for extra shifts and promotions.
HOW TO COME BACK FROM: BE GRATEFUL

1- SMILE and AGREE
We can all agree that gratitude is important. We can also agree that many people are out of work and would be happy to tGRATEFULake our job (or any job). So, start there. Agree with your boss: ‘You are so right. I am grateful to have this job.’
2- YES AND….:
Now that you have agreed and validated your boss, you can go beyond gratitude to state your case. Focus on the importance of improving: ‘Certainly we all want to do the best job possible’ (no argument here). I really need supplies to do that- specifically XYZ. I’d like to know when you expect delivery. In the meantime, please let me know how to handle this without supplies.’
3- KEEP SMILING and FOLLOWUP
Keep that smile in place (even if it feels frozen). There is little to object to from an employee who smiles and suggests improvements to benefit the company. No matter what response you receive from your boss, offer to followup: ‘I’ll check back early next week. I know deliveries can be delayed.’

Be grateful for what you have and count your blessings, but don’t let gratitude stop you! We all have the right to examine, evaluate and offer critiques. Creative ideas and suggestions should be welcome- they contribute to progress and growth. Who can object to that?

LGBT in the Workplace: How to handle slights, slurs and derogatory comments

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When I was asked to write an article for Advancing Women about LGBT workers, I found myself overwhelmed with possibilities. Conflict, relationships, identity- all broad topics with many applicable issues. As I thought about this and began to narrow down the options, I decided to tackle the slights, slurs and derogatory comments LGBT employees encounter. These subtle (or not so subtle) jabs negatively affect the employee’s attitude, behavior, relationships and ultimately productivity. No way to live or work.  RESPECT-RAINBOW

What to do when you encounter these jabs is the subject of my article: http://bit.ly/1RnMr6e . When that offensive comment is made, you need a specific strategy- what is your goal and how will you get there? I help take you through the steps. Make your position clear AND keep you job.

 

Just a glass of water

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Last week I met a colleague for breakfast in a NYC restaurant. During the meal, I needed more water, so I looked around the dining room and saw my waiter standing a few feet away talking with his fellow waiters. I caught his eye, and gestured to the water glass, saying “Could I have more water, please?” He turned from me and called out to the busser (who was carrying a full tray of dishes to the kitchen), “More water, table 37.” The busser looked stunned and annoyed and kept walking. My colleague sighed and said, “I don’t know what the big deal is. It’s just a glass of water.”

BlogWaterMaybe, but to the server and busser, it was so much more. Power struggle, dislike, resentment, “not my job”. Any or all of these might be in the mix. And this “mix” is negatively affecting service.

The personal differences between the waiter and busser need to be resolved if business is to run smoothly. Working through their conflict or long time grudge will relieve stress and improve overall attitudes. Then maybe I can get my glass of water.