VENTING WITH PURPOSE: Why are you complaining?

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Last week a friend of mine shared her frustration with an aerobics instructor at the gym (lousy music, boring routine -same every week). When she finished, she said, OK, so now that I’ve vented, I can go on with my day. Big smile and off she went. It got me thinking about the purpose of venting. We all do it, whether we call it venting, complaining or griping. Why? What do we get out of it? In the case of my friend, she simply wanted/needed to say it out loud. Once she verbalized it, she could let it go and move on.

In the workplace, venting is generally frowned upon. You’re not considered a good team player if you share too many negatives and gripe about policies or working conditions. But, if- like my friend- workers could share their frustrations openly, it might be an effective way to let things out and move on to productive work.

The problem is, how do you do that without it becoming a bottomless pit of frustration and depression? Once people start complaining, how do they stop?

Well, like everything else in the workplace and in life- for that matter, there needs to be a clear purpose. Everyone should be on the same page when it comes to WHY we are venting. What’s the end result we want to achieve? It might be to relieve stress, improve connection to co-workers (knowing others feel the same), improve ability to cope with difficulties, or maybe effect change within the team or organization.

You want to be realistic and practical. This means that you and your co-workers are clear on what is possible (or not) and how much time can be spent. For example, if the group is complaining about a corporate policy that has been implemented across all departments, changing or getting rid of this policy is probably impossible. Here the work needs to be about sharing to relieve stress and/or sharing strategies to cope with the inconvenient (maybe ridiculous in your mind) policy. On the other hand, if the group is talking about a policy the boss has instituted that makes no sense to anyone, you might spend time talking about how to approach the boss with a counter proposal to achieve the same results. Time is always relevant in the workplace: Are you sharing over lunch or an authorized break? If not, be aware of who might be listening and how much time you’re spending away from work tasks. You get behind in your work because you were venting- no benefit to anyone- especially if a busybody lets the boss know.

There is definitely a great deal of personal satisfaction and stress relief in venting and sharing complaints with co-workers. If this is your purpose, go for it. Just be strategic and stick to clear purpose and time frame. Is it possible that complaining can actually a team building activity?! More on this in future blogs.

NEW YEAR- NEW YOU- NEW GROUP Exercise Class: Fit in and make the most of your Exercise Class

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From the Inside Out Project® is all about GROUPS- how we work together (or not) in professional and personal settings. We’re all part of many groups including: family, friends, co-workers AND Exercise Classes. Take a look at what I say about these groups.

 

It’s a NEW YEAR and you’ve decided it’s time to get in shape. You’ve joined a gym and plan to take classes: Pilates, body conditioning, zumba, step, kick boxing and more. GREAT. But before you jump in, familiarize yourself with exercise class etiquette. There are rules and norms! As a new group member, you need to learn and follow them. Here they are:

1- BE ON TIME– When you are late, the class is disrupted. You are finding and setting up equipment (noisy), setting down and unpacking your bag, even the door opening and closing is disruptive to those working out. Lateness in any group is inconsiderate.late

2– FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE GYM: If your gym has a sign up policy for classes or size/space limitations, learn and follow these rules. There is nothing worse than the member who comes in saying, ‘I didn’t know. Can’t I take the class anyway?’ You’ve put the instructor in a bind (needs to adhere to rules too!), inconvenienced others (we’ll probably start late now) and put yourself in the spotlight (not in a positive way-looking for special treatment- who do you think you are?)

3- NO CELLPHONES!– Put your phone away. This is not only disruptive and annoying (you’re not invisible!) but dangerous. Jumping, running, lifting- your phone may get damaged or broken. Certainly you can spare ONE HOUR (usual time of the class) away from contacts, texts and Facebook posts. Try it- you’ll be surprised how great it feels.

4- STAY IN THE CLASS– Most instructors have short breaks built into the class- chance to get water, towel off. This is the time to exit the class- Don’t saunter in and out of the class as if it’s your living room. It’s both inconsiderate and dangerous. Others are moving and will not stop or change direction so you can pass through. Watch out- you may get kicked.exercise-class-cartoon

5- LOOK TO THOSE IN THE KNOW– There is always a core group of regulars- people who attend the class regularly and can fill you in. These people are usually very helpful- they will review steps or exercises with you, explain what equipment is needed, give you the scoop on the instructor. But you need to ASK. Introduce yourself and get to know these people- they will be there every week and your relationship with them can make or break your class experience.

Exercise classes are a terrific way to get in shape- in a group. Treat it like a group- not just your personal workout- and you’ll benefit not only from the physical part- but also from the ‘people’ part. When you connect and respect others, you’ll feel welcomed and accepted. This positive attitude turns to motivation- you’ll need that to reach your fitness goals!

What’s the problem with Team Building?

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Employees are often called team members, so it would follow that strengthening or building the team would result in a unified group and more efficient work force. Employers often schedule team building activities, retreats and gatherings to encourage and foster a team spirit. So, what’s the problem? The problem is hourly employees aren’t interested in being on a team. They are hired to do a job and when the shift is over, they are out the door. That is the contract (whether verbal or formally written, as in a Union shop) they enter into when they accept the position. The expectation that hourly employees will welcome the chance to bond with team members (especially if there is no compensation to do so) is not realistic. When I was an hourly employee, I always wondered, What’s the point? And what’s in it for me? Management would do well to answer those questions before urging hourly employees to join the team.